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‘Hey, Beth, how are you?’ ‘Me?’ she scoffed, ‘I’m a lot better than you.’ ‘Okay everybody,’ Ayers announced, ‘Dr. Ulteman says we gotta get out of here and give Mr. Jacobs some rest. We’ve got some arrangements to make, Mr. Jacobs, a lot of folks want to meet you and thank one of our hometown heroes.’ With that I heard one of the other Duluth officers scoff. I looked at him and recognized JW, aka Jerk Wad. ‘JW,’ I said, ‘you got a problem?’ ‘Yeah, hometown hero my ass, you’re lucky you did not a real fuck up charging in like John Fucking Wayne. And it’s Office Wilson to you.’ he added. He had no sooner closed his mouth than the third Duluth cop walking in behind him said, ‘One more comment like that, and it won’t be Officer anything, just Jerk Wad, the former officer.’ With that, JW’s face turned 25 shades of red as he said ‘Yes, Chief, won’t happen again, Chief. Sorry Chief, sorry Mr. Jacobs,’ as he turned and hurried from the room. ‘Thanks, Chief,’ Beth said shaking her head. ‘Some. “Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”DO NOT LAUGHTHURSDAYOne night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defence.“Your Honour,” she began coolly, “I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.”FRIDAYA Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa...“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that’s the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten,.
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